Monday, 4 March 2013

A mountain in my heart


There's a mountain in my heart
that which a decade of plains cannot conquer

It's stripy craggy sides
English meadows cannot replace

Under a lazy hazy March sun
i swallow the fresh air in it's fullness

The music of the hurrying wind
Mozart's cannot defeat

Occasional automobiles i hear
from hundreds of feet below

An immense expanse of sheer delight
stretches from here to there

In all shades of blue
they exhibit the painter's skill

There's a mountain in my heart
that no one can take away!

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

April Joy

And April Joy has long been gone
delightful May is no more
a wet-ful June is what i now possess
yet it's not really mine to claim it so
I basked in April Joy
in the glorious golden sunlight
under the dark velvetty sky
the twinkling stars were counted
The heart bounces with longing
for my April Joy again
in this wet June evening
while holding a cup of tea

Monday, 29 October 2012

that old place

i revisit that corner
we frequented not long ago
everything is still the same
each letter, we carefully constructed
each word that were meticulously put together
they remain, they still speak to me
they stare at me as if with sad eyes
wondering where you are,
asking me where you've gone
they blame themselves in their utter stillness
as if they had made a mistake
So, loss for words
i tell them, you've sent them regards
and that we'll pay them a visit
sometime, maybe in the future

it's the weather


it's that time of the year again
when all is in slight sepia mode
the furious monsoon has receded
giving way to nostalgic October,
there's a nip in the air when the sun goes home
the starry sky expands endlessly
and the lone moon shines high and bright
looking down at me as a
as we wander alone in this vast world

all is at rest,all around me
in this stillness,i still miss you
this change of season i feel in the air
but the evergreen leaves fail to show me
they could be me not wanting to change colour
but it's the change in weather they can't deny
as they inwardly prepare for the freezing cold months

Friday, 15 June 2012

...


It’s getting harder by the day

Wondering what you’d be doing tonight

The day is drawing nearer each day

When we were suppose to meet

I dreamt that when all is done

In the sacred place, in His sanctuary

You would swing by my humble abode

We would laugh away the night

In secrecy we would

Cuddle under the velvety sky

Counting the stars

Not wanting to think the future

That we wanted but now fail to ignore



I remember long ago

The fire of annoyance lighting our way

Until it fizzled out

With much fear I chose the path

Leading to your heart

Didn’t you choose the same?

You’ve let me be

High and dry in the highway

I’ve been too far already

To head back home alone in this cold night

Wouldn’t you at least lend me your flickering light?



The couch reminds me of you

And I fail each day not to stare at its emptiness

I don’t enjoy swinging by anymore

The place I once frequented

We made memories there

I remember the minute detail,

Your gentle touch,

The fire in your eyes

I can still hear your heartbeat

While you now seem to forget it all

You filled that empty street for a while

Now it’s empty and dark all over again



A mountain of pride tells me each day

That I’ve been wronged

I’ve seen it with my eyes

The betrayal in your gait

It keeps me calm during the day

Drives me to work and reach me home safe

But as I lay to rest in the night

The quietness reminds me again

How much I miss you

And I lie to myself that you didn’t wrong me at all

That I brought all these upon myself.




Sunday, 3 June 2012

wednesday happiness

i see your face in the blue velvetty sky
in the white fluffy clouds i feel your presence
the glorious sunrise reminds me of your faithfulness
the glistening sunset tells me of your promise
that never fails

You've given me much and my cup overflows
i'm amazed by the numerous things that one can learn
You've shown me much that i can harness each day Lord
i stand amazed in our presence
for you've shown me what 'abundant life'  is

from where i am Lord,i can't see it all
but in Your love i can see more
More that what the world trains me to see
beyond daily existence on earth

i long for the day when You and i will walk down
hand in hand along the streets of heaven
i will tell you how much love you
not just in thoughts and through your creations
but face to face i will proclaim
Your loving kindness and faithfulness

Walk with me through the streets today
as i cross the road and take turns
hold my hands tight

Thursday, 31 May 2012

how much you mean to me

i watch the smoke
spiralling out of my mouth
lingering on just for a bit
hovering around my shoulder
caressing up my forehead
just to disappear in the thin air so soon
it's almost sad
But
how will i hold it still?
how will i make it stay?
then
i realise
it could suffocate me
it will kill me
unless it goes away

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Lunglei blues


I'm travelling yet again and it looks like i'm going to spend much more time than i had planned. I'm in Lunglei and absolutely loving it. I'm so in love with the greens all round me, the beautiful sunrise and sunset that one gets to see from Zotlang and Serkawn make life all the more delightful. Unlike Delhi and Aizawl, there's no traffic jam and no honking to be heard. I get to stay in this really quiet place in the outskirt (a kind friend lets me stay while she's away). I share the house surrounded by beautiful trees and hills with her rather active cat Kiko. As i walk back in the evenings from the town centre, i get to hear crickets, birds chirping and watch the dancing leaves against the gentle wind. It's such a brilliant break from a busy life! Though i'm here on fieldwork, it feels more like a holiday.
Somebody buy me a house in Serkawn/Zotlang/Salem!

Saturday, 28 January 2012

On a cold January evening


when all is bleak and dull


we crowd the house we once frequented


as children,as teenagers


clad in school uniforms



So many new tunes have set in


within us,amongst us


during the years we failed to meet up


new strings some have acquired


not losing the old charm



Sitting by the lovely fire


we recall the old days


sour punishments became delightful


those harsh words have become jokes


remembering Neuhof



And we part ways again so soon


few hours take us far


we hold so dear memories of brown


those of teachers much to say


of the place none forgets

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

For the Love of the Delhi Metro


The zipping and zapping of the train is a nuisance to many. The tooting and honking make a thousand people cross. The presence of the almost infinite numbers of bodies, that too of human being’s alone in all shapes and sizes lured many to brave being stuck in the snail paced traffic on the road under the scorching heat or the ever thickening fog. But there are some of us who think otherwise. So, here’s to all those who have enjoyed brilliant moments in the Delhi Metro.

I have been rather queer, I am told, for loving the train so much. The fascination began with Thomas the tank engine, not only in childhood but well into adulthood. The idyllic portrayal of Thomas along with his engine mates Percy, Toby (my favourite) in the Island of Sodor may be disjointed with the super fast Delhi metros in the 21st century. But nevertheless, they are all trains and they take you places.

So the love for metro trains began much before they started running but no claim could I make of the fascination for the streets that had been dug up to make way for them. I was unfortunate enough not to ride much when the yellow line stretched only from Central Secretariat to Vishwavidyalaya. Lajpat Nagar IV was way too far from the stations and I hardly visited north campus except on my annual pilgrimage to Kamla Nagar. Even on such occasions, I was forced to take the amazing three legged auto rickshaws (mind you, I love them too especially after one friend suggested that they look like moving tuna tin!) This led to a rather late encounter but nevertheless blossomed into a faithful and trusting relationship. It finally began when the yellow line stretched from North Campus to the neighbouring Haryana. Much to my annoyance it was a short lived one, circumstances changed and one is forced not to see the trains on a regular basis. But the metro memories are far too deeply etched and lingered on like peculiar aromas emanating from fellow commuters that fail to travel distances and stuck in closed air conditioned compartments.

Mornings were the most thrilling time to spend in the metros as the whole of Delhi seems to descend to the stations, much better than the evenings when we all look like deflated Christmas balloons stuffed in a box ready to be thrown away. My station was never one of those packed with living beings and I always had enough air to breathe and get extensive space to stretch my short or rather never ending legs! Sometimes I wonder if the metro actually uses the infamous IST for it is punctual in its own way. The attempt to board the train were always rather exciting and has never failed to amuse me. One needs to be clever and master the art of standing at the correct angle from the train doors to be among the first ones to enter the train. This too without being stared at by the easily excitable university students nor shoved aside by the incredibly strong aunties with one hand firmly holding tiffins and with the other side clutching their handbags on their way to the secretariat where chai and samosas await them. Men are to be left alone as gone were the days when women did not have separate compartment. All I know is that many brave men who dared enter or pass through women’s compartment were never left without a singe; by the stare or mighty bark of the women.

The actual journey itself doesn’t quite match the excitement of the platform or the art of boarding the fast train. It’s a time when reality/ unreality hit you. Zooming through the heart of Delhi without actually seeing those that signify the city makes you wonder what the core of this city really is. You are in the heart of the city, deep within the dark tunnel where in between the stations one does not see stark contrasts. You then begin to wonder, what and where exactly is the city. After a few stops boredom begins to creep in and that’s exactly the point when you begin to look for fun within what you are provided with inside the train. You practise your rustic devnagari script and although it has hardly been oiled often after you’ve left school, you realise that the intricate lines and joins do still make sense to you. But you at the same time know very well that with that ability does not come freely the process of understanding. Boom!! Shoes! Oh what fun it is to read them (rather then the sparse advertisements). One after the other, you are presented with all sorts, really, from the flats to the unbelievably high platforms. It doesn’t matter who wears them, pedicured or dirty feet, they still are shoes. But how long can one engage in shoe spotting then you look for familiar faces. The fact that one takes the same train each day does not guarantee that you’ll find familiar faces, you do not get metro friends unlike facebook or G+ friends.

Rajiv chowk and Kashmiri gate provide free entertainment of a very different nature. We are allowed some kind of relief if one is on the way to north and the complete opposite when heading south! The influx of people is just indescribable, the stations of extreme changes. One tends to wonder if one could spread out the population of Delhi in a more systematic nature. You get new sets of people coming in and leaving at each passing station, but hardly at race course. I reckon Mr Singh does not have many visitors!

But there were days when one loses these indulgences of observation, when you have company; some living beings or those conjured up by means of the written words. They make you oblivious of being in the belly of Delhi, beneath the heat, dust and the traffic jams where popular signifiers of the city like power cuts, stray animals, and beggars are replaced by a whole new set.

Then before you realise, metro riding days are halted and you are left wondering when you will sit on the metro floor again.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Cakes & Pies (Album in the making)

Passion Meringue Pie for niece Catherine's Birthday

Lemon cake with chocolate butter icing for cuz Heidi


Cakes galore!

Gorgeous cupcakes by S



Aha!

Well, i haven't written in ages and last night as i stalked some bloggers and their work,i guess i'm encouraged to do it again. Anyhow, it's a really fab time for me to take this blogging seriously; i've got a new whole exciting year coming up! I'm done with Uni for the time being and haven't got any serious commitment to thwart my creativity, so i will be trying to write more.
We all go through phases in our writings as we do in life which itself shows the life that is in the art of writing. So, this phase sees me doing lots of baking and taking photographs and hopefully those will stir up a poem or two or much more.
I am relocating yet again for sometime and i guess new exciting subjects will come out.
Here's to a new phase with wide open eyes and spring in my feet!

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Away

A million furlong away,

across the happy isles

you sit

cross legged,

on the mountain top

watching the sun descend

in the horizon

the waves dance for you

the warm sand

beneath your feet

stretches a chasm

between here

and there

only ties

of dreams

that bind us

in the night

when the world rests

you appear

like a rainbow

swiftly

disappear

when the birds sing

invoking

a glorious day

utterly forlon

i welcome

what's given

the glorious hours

ahead,hoping

it won't be long

till you appear

in this chaotic place

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Suffering

There isn't much choice

at hand;

to choose between

a black and a blue biro

between a pair of trousers and a skirt.

Deadlines

to be met, or

ignored,

or pushed a wee bit further

Lectures to attend,

essays to hand in,

Promises to be kept

and just a bit more time

to reflect

on life

under the stars.

Fears

deep fears, great big ones

now and then:

missing the next metro

missing the next episode

of my favourite TV show

And deeper fears

of unable to tweet,

that Facebook will die

a natural death,

not being on the passenger list

on the flight heading to aizawl

for the Holidays

A hard life indeed

such dilemmas.

I wonder what President Ma'am will think

If i landed on her doorstep

With my suitcase

overflowing with crisis

(mind you)

i bought it at a Louis Vuitton sale!

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

bye

Why do we have to say goodbye?? I'm pretty rubbish at it, i can't get used to it. Those whoi love and care are leaving this place one by one, looking for greener pasture. There will be time for us to meet again, but i hate to think that it will all be different settings and not the Delhi that we always loved...right from amar colony! and yea Shu's 'the afternoon after tea' hypotheis..not to forget all the psychological disorders that you've diagnosed in us M...starting from me being called a Bi-polar, followed by OCD...how we loved it all!


And all those tea sipping sessions at BS when we didn't even feel like looking at each other nor start a chat. Avoidance theory and how good we were at it, then we were hit on the head when all was almost gone...a few mean cherished months we had and it was time for you to leave M..!


The bread, the butter and freezing nights at Dhaba, pippie, how you loved it and the one with the white wind shield jacket had a change for us on Christmas day, we were saved though you've been insane since that gloomy day, right? So have i become one too, saying goodbye!

Tuesday, 1 December 2009



Like I’ve said earlier,

It’s not the time to pluck the fruits of a tree
and the flowers aren’t yet ready to bloom…
harvest season is a long way off.
I wish I could change the season
thawing Jack Frost on the ground
may be, just may be …
the lovely sun will decide to appear
One of these days and hasten it all

all that I wait and long for…
And yours

But why do you have to tell me
Tell me that you’re going for sometime
Where will I be then?
So, what will I do?
I hate to wait without you.



Friday, 18 September 2009

She

She does not ask for much
But to be heard and respected
For virtue of being a person
Not for being ‘just a lady’,
But one made in the image of God

Views many has she got
All may not fair nor right
Who says the world is only black or white
There are indeed various shades of grey
But the moment they come tumbling out of her mouth
They are received with the bitterness of the forbidden world
And they call her a name, in their mind
They gave her a brand, she knows not

…and she is a woman,
Happy to be alive
Enjoying what her maker has given her,
The joy of learning new things
The freedom of getting ideas in her head…
The pain of being broken
The irrepressible hope of perfect love
And there may be peace in the world
And the hungry will be fed

No one can stop her
For she’s made to be her
Just her and no one else

So, let her be…

The creator wanted her to be

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

2nd

It does not come easy as i have always claimed,
purely a construct, brick by brick and thoughts upon thoughts
each letter, each word counts
i have dug them out from deep within and from the shallow waters i have borrowed
some have disappeared in the thin air
in the space between you and i
maybe some...you have kept them safe!
I want to write the ending lines as i close my eyes
pretending to sleep...
that too is a pretension,
but i cannot go any further
and do i really want to, i ask myself
...
just another word,
another letter atleast
maybe you can write again,

but do i really want you to write...
i am wondering
time will tell
for this seems to be a wrong season
for the snow to fall
and the flowers to bloom...
Time will tell,
i tell myself

Friday, 24 July 2009

STOKED!!

From the west you drifted by

an icy cold draft was what i had felt

With the passing of long winter months

you've become a cool breeze...

making the Summer heat bearable

As Summer passes, i hope you'll stay on...

Be my Monsoon wind and the blessed rain

my Autumn sunshine on the golden leaves

the joy of my Spring

and the comfort of the Winter to come!

Sunday, 7 June 2009


It's hard to retire in the night,

the peacocks sing a glorious lullaby

beneath my windows.

In the renowned heat,

I'm frozen to my bones, my joins start aching

while the world outside says sweat it out.

I've rearranged my pillow hundred times

counting all the sheep in this land.

I've run out of podcasts

I am out of my wits.

Shu's arriving tomorrow, well today actually,

the boys are coming at nine

i have to read with them for an hour.

Books upon books

sitting aimlessly in the shelves

waiting to be touched

explored!

I've come to you for help,

i know you are there.

I know you see me

fighting

to see you at this moment

just a soft hush from you is enough

then i'll be in a dreamland.