bye

Why do we have to say goodbye?? I'm pretty rubbish at it, i can't get used to it. Those whoi love and care are leaving this place one by one, looking for greener pasture. There will be time for us to meet again, but i hate to think that it will all be different settings and not the Delhi that we always loved...right from amar colony! and yea Shu's 'the afternoon after tea' hypotheis..not to forget all the psychological disorders that you've diagnosed in us M...starting from me being called a Bi-polar, followed by OCD...how we loved it all!


And all those tea sipping sessions at BS when we didn't even feel like looking at each other nor start a chat. Avoidance theory and how good we were at it, then we were hit on the head when all was almost gone...a few mean cherished months we had and it was time for you to leave M..!


The bread, the butter and freezing nights at Dhaba, pippie, how you loved it and the one with the white wind shield jacket had a change for us on Christmas day, we were saved though you've been insane since that gloomy day, right? So have i become one too, saying goodbye!

Like I’ve said earlier,

It’s not the time to pluck the fruits of a tree
and the flowers aren’t yet ready to bloom…
harvest season is a long way off.
I wish I could change the season
thawing Jack Frost on the ground
may be, just may be …
the lovely sun will decide to appear
One of these days and hasten it all

all that I wait and long for…
And yours

But why do you have to tell me
Tell me that you’re going for sometime
Where will I be then?
So, what will I do?
I hate to wait without you.

2nd

It does not come easy as i have always claimed,
purely a construct, brick by brick and thoughts upon thoughts
each letter, each word counts
i have dug them out from deep within and from the shallow waters i have borrowed
some have disappeared in the thin air
in the space between you and i
maybe some...you have kept them safe!
I want to write the ending lines as i close my eyes
pretending to sleep...
that too is a pretension,
but i cannot go any further
and do i really want to, i ask myself
...
just another word,
another letter atleast
maybe you can write again,

but do i really want you to write...
i am wondering
time will tell
for this seems to be a wrong season
for the snow to fall
and the flowers to bloom...
Time will tell,
i tell myself

STOKED!!

From the west you drifted by

an icy cold draft was what i had felt

With the passing of long winter months

you've become a cool breeze...

making the Summer heat bearable

As Summer passes, i hope you'll stay on...

Be my Monsoon wind and the blessed rain

my Autumn sunshine on the golden leaves

the joy of my Spring

and the comfort of the Winter to come!

I'll get by,

when you're gone

I'll be fine ...

As the rosy fingered dawn appears,

I'll walk up and down the streets,

I'll read as long as i can,

I'll do some chores here and there

tend the flowers till they bloom.

I'll sit by the road and take a deep breath

watching the parchment like sky

dotted with fluffy clouds

with the running of the sun.

I'll sit on the rocks till they turn cold,

when the silvery moon appears

i'll listen to the night owls

hunting for food.

I'll watch the peacocks retire for the night

as their glorious feathers are put to rest,

gently hanging on their sides.

Then i'll lie down and drift away

in the bosom of sleep

and i will dream

my senses will be numbed

i won't feel a thing

without a care

gently i'll dream on

untainted by pain

one thing will remain intact

though the knight has to go away

his valour will linger on.

....

i travel the road...
i wish i had never taken!

Walking with head upright,
a bending heart
under the lovely January sun
in the utter stillness
when all is at rest

I feel the gnawing of something, within
The clinking of metal chains
Inside my ribs.

Had i not saw you
on the hot Sunday evening,
Had i sat under the peepal tree
all alone
had i read by the sea
had i not met you
At all...

I would not be sitting by the bougainvilleas
with the used paper cups strewn all over

Rather smelling lavender
without a care,
for i would not have known you at all.

?

For the hundredth time,
I am considering a Goodbye;
I've given you an intro,
the beginning to an ending chapter.
I've given myself a fright,
i wonder what you'd think of it.
Am i convincing enough?
Do you really believe?
Will you consider my appeal?


The main course will come,
A surprise it's suppose to be!
What shall i do?
What will you say when it's laid open to you?
Will you ask me to stay behind?
Will you let me fly away?
Does it matter to you at all,
if i go or stay?


Do you want it wrapped or fully opened,
or just in part?
How would you like it best my Dear?
...thrown at your feet or over the phone,
even maybe over a cup of coffee...
well, the aroma may be so soothing.

Many summers, winters,

autumns...
Does it make any difference at all?
Am i still thousands of miles away
or just an inch behind your legs?
Does it really matter?
...whether you love or care
Your heart has always been lying
somewhere between me and you.

(*For my dear AM, who is neither here nor there!)

and i choose...

One by one

i'm sorting ,

Things that have made my room their home

for the past twelve months.

They've got to go, find a new dwelling

i can't keep them any longer

it's hard to say goodbye

and yet there's no more space and

time isn't on our side...

one has to move on

i choose to say- 'they aren't important anymore'

Well maybe they'll end up in some corner,

in recycling bins,

in charity shops i once frequented,

maybe they'll find a lovely place

to call a home

to be loved and looked after

or even maybe
like me,

they'll continue to wander

in this vast space

i call the world.



People,

what should i do?

individuals that speak,

breathe,

eat,

sleep,

cry,

love...

i choose to think- ' I'll see you again soon,'

yes very soon i will,

but time is not on our side

how long is soon?

Tomorrow i reckon,

maybe hundred years

anything in between now and never...



Noeemo dear, where are you?

I miss you!

Are the sharks giving you a fright?

Where is Shrek tonight?

Are you cuddling the possums?

I'm off llama trekking as the sun goes down tomorrow

but where are you my Cheshire horse, ooo Ro'n

can't you gallop across the Severn?

Are the Leprechauns stopping you on the way?



...and i have to choose
to say

Goodbye!

I am left without a choice.

NOT A CLOSURE14 May, 2007 12:15 PM

( for all the stupidos who had spent relatively long hours in 98 residence hall )

And i sit down, contemplating
recalling the story of us which is 3 summers old
full of love and laughter
with a tint of sadness here and there
buckets of tears that were shed
full throated laughter still rings in my ears
a heartbreak or two and some misunderstandings

and a couple of patching up which make us strong enough to bend

for we loved and hated

for we fought and never lost!

here i am thinking

that our story has come to an end

like many others before us

a pang of fear invades my heart

at the thought of being away from you

but will we really be parted?

for we are connected in some mysterious ways!

maybe we are just peculiar in the head

as i get in my bed

hoping to dream about the good old days

then i realise there is no such thing...

for this is not the end

it will go on...

for there is no closure

to the story of us