bye

Why do we have to say goodbye?? I'm pretty rubbish at it, i can't get used to it. Those whoi love and care are leaving this place one by one, looking for greener pasture. There will be time for us to meet again, but i hate to think that it will all be different settings and not the Delhi that we always loved...right from amar colony! and yea Shu's 'the afternoon after tea' hypotheis..not to forget all the psychological disorders that you've diagnosed in us M...starting from me being called a Bi-polar, followed by OCD...how we loved it all!


And all those tea sipping sessions at BS when we didn't even feel like looking at each other nor start a chat. Avoidance theory and how good we were at it, then we were hit on the head when all was almost gone...a few mean cherished months we had and it was time for you to leave M..!


The bread, the butter and freezing nights at Dhaba, pippie, how you loved it and the one with the white wind shield jacket had a change for us on Christmas day, we were saved though you've been insane since that gloomy day, right? So have i become one too, saying goodbye!

Like I’ve said earlier,

It’s not the time to pluck the fruits of a tree
and the flowers aren’t yet ready to bloom…
harvest season is a long way off.
I wish I could change the season
thawing Jack Frost on the ground
may be, just may be …
the lovely sun will decide to appear
One of these days and hasten it all

all that I wait and long for…
And yours

But why do you have to tell me
Tell me that you’re going for sometime
Where will I be then?
So, what will I do?
I hate to wait without you.

She

She does not ask for much
But to be heard and respected
For virtue of being a person
Not for being ‘just a lady’,
But one made in the image of God

Views many has she got
All may not fair nor right
Who says the world is only black or white
There are indeed various shades of grey
But the moment they come tumbling out of her mouth
They are received with the bitterness of the forbidden world
And they call her a name, in their mind
They gave her a brand, she knows not

…and she is a woman,
Happy to be alive
Enjoying what her maker has given her,
The joy of learning new things
The freedom of getting ideas in her head…
The pain of being broken
The irrepressible hope of perfect love
And there may be peace in the world
And the hungry will be fed

No one can stop her
For she’s made to be her
Just her and no one else

So, let her be…

The creator wanted her to be

2nd

It does not come easy as i have always claimed,
purely a construct, brick by brick and thoughts upon thoughts
each letter, each word counts
i have dug them out from deep within and from the shallow waters i have borrowed
some have disappeared in the thin air
in the space between you and i
maybe some...you have kept them safe!
I want to write the ending lines as i close my eyes
pretending to sleep...
that too is a pretension,
but i cannot go any further
and do i really want to, i ask myself
...
just another word,
another letter atleast
maybe you can write again,

but do i really want you to write...
i am wondering
time will tell
for this seems to be a wrong season
for the snow to fall
and the flowers to bloom...
Time will tell,
i tell myself

STOKED!!

From the west you drifted by

an icy cold draft was what i had felt

With the passing of long winter months

you've become a cool breeze...

making the Summer heat bearable

As Summer passes, i hope you'll stay on...

Be my Monsoon wind and the blessed rain

my Autumn sunshine on the golden leaves

the joy of my Spring

and the comfort of the Winter to come!

It's hard to retire in the night,

the peacocks sing a glorious lullaby

beneath my windows.

In the renowned heat,

I'm frozen to my bones, my joins start aching

while the world outside says sweat it out.

I've rearranged my pillow hundred times

counting all the sheep in this land.

I've run out of podcasts

I am out of my wits.

Shu's arriving tomorrow, well today actually,

the boys are coming at nine

i have to read with them for an hour.

Books upon books

sitting aimlessly in the shelves

waiting to be touched

explored!

I've come to you for help,

i know you are there.

I know you see me

fighting

to see you at this moment

just a soft hush from you is enough

then i'll be in a dreamland.

I reckon

It’s about what I’ll wear and eat,
about what I’ll do this afternoon, tonight and tomorrow.
I wonder if the rain will come before noon,
Maybe it will not throughout the week.
When am I going to bump into the guy I fancy?
Where and how
And I reckon, all day long

Few years down the line…
Waving at the kids as they happily jump into the school bus
Packing lunch for him and kiss him as he leaves for work
Wondering what I will do as I sit alone in the house
Put on the washing and try to write a bit
Replying emails and paying the bills
And then I reckon, all day long

Lost in the world of dreams
I don’t remember where you are
Across the bridge or sitting right next to me
I wish I could find you and be held by you
I am lost in the world of the fear of NOT
That my desires will never be fulfilled
When I don’t even really know what I desire

Find me as I sit here,
Trying to think of you
Trying to look for you
Trying to long for you

Teach me how to love You

(For the 'upper dingy babes')

delhi heat

Not the night you'd fancy,

thermometer is restless so are the mosquitoes,

lizards peeping out from the cracks on the wall

more are hidden behind the book shelf

having the time of their life.

Dolly's singing silver and gold,

it's still very true for I'm the owner of none.

I look for fun

in the Indian Constitution,

yes i do,

well, cause i have to!

It's never ending ...

I'm becoming an expert

in nailing the mosquitoes down.

Till it's way past midnight,

i crave flap jack,

i want to go bed

but not wanting to sleep

and not wanting

to get up in the morning too

It's a topsy turvy world!

I'll get by,

when you're gone

I'll be fine ...

As the rosy fingered dawn appears,

I'll walk up and down the streets,

I'll read as long as i can,

I'll do some chores here and there

tend the flowers till they bloom.

I'll sit by the road and take a deep breath

watching the parchment like sky

dotted with fluffy clouds

with the running of the sun.

I'll sit on the rocks till they turn cold,

when the silvery moon appears

i'll listen to the night owls

hunting for food.

I'll watch the peacocks retire for the night

as their glorious feathers are put to rest,

gently hanging on their sides.

Then i'll lie down and drift away

in the bosom of sleep

and i will dream

my senses will be numbed

i won't feel a thing

without a care

gently i'll dream on

untainted by pain

one thing will remain intact

though the knight has to go away

his valour will linger on.

saturday night

A saturday night, i miss you dear,
a half finished book on my table
under the glowing lamp
i stare into space
wishing it was you instead!

It's the last night of january and it's still cold
wish you were here rather than the duvet
I shiver in this cold room
with an icy cold heart within.

....

i travel the road...
i wish i had never taken!

Walking with head upright,
a bending heart
under the lovely January sun
in the utter stillness
when all is at rest

I feel the gnawing of something, within
The clinking of metal chains
Inside my ribs.

Had i not saw you
on the hot Sunday evening,
Had i sat under the peepal tree
all alone
had i read by the sea
had i not met you
At all...

I would not be sitting by the bougainvilleas
with the used paper cups strewn all over

Rather smelling lavender
without a care,
for i would not have known you at all.